samedi 22 mars 2014

Temper Tantrum Triggers Don't Really Exist

By Leanna Rae Scott


I:0:T During all of the forty-some years I have been parenting, the most consistent temper tantrum advice from experts has been for parents to ignore their child's tantrums. The theory behind such a technique of ignoring temper tantrums, according to my understanding, is that ignoring them prevents their validation. The parent who ignores tantrums avoids rewarding their child for them and avoids reinforcing their negative behavior with any attention.

According to this theory of don't-reinforce-negative-behavior, in such a situation the basic assumption is that children throw the tantrum in order to get undeserved attention (this is negative behavior), and if parents avoid reinforcing such negative behaviors, they should stop, go away, and cease to occur. Despite this basic theory behind the ignoring-tantrums techniques, throughout the modern history of parenting advising, most experts who've recommended using them have not claimed that they will stop tantrums in progress or prevent them.

Only two decades ago, parenting advisors still weren't putting the word prevention along with the word tantrum in the same sentence. Their advice was given really only to help parents know how to best manage and deal with temper tantrums, the same as it primarily is today. However, today's parenting advisors currently teach parents how to prevent some temper tantrums by handling children's tantrum triggers, such as hunger, frustration, and tiredness. In other words, these expert parenting advisors teach parents to prevent the hunger, frustration, and tiredness in their children. They really don't teach parents to prevent temper tantrums in spite of normal living, which can include tiredness, frustration, and hunger.

My particular method of temper tantrum prevention and elimination is greatly different from other people's methods. I help parents learn how to respond to their babies and children in a way that totally makes it unnecessary to be watchful for temper tantrum triggers (which are actually anger triggers). The typical childhood and infant frustrations stop triggering temper tantrums. In spite of this basic theory behind the ignoring-tantrums technique, throughout modern history of parenting advice, most experts who've recommended using the technique haven't claimed that it will prevent tantrums or stop them in progress.

I teach parents to totally, 100% eliminate temper tantrums from their children's behavioral repertoire so there are no longer any tantrums in progress to have to stop, handle, manage, or deal with. I also teach parents to consistently respond to their newborn infants in ways that the babies never develop a tantrum-throwing pattern or even of escalating when angry. I teach parents these abilities with clarity and with many examples in hopes that they will learn them quickly and easily.




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